It’s been a roller coaster lately. I’ve been battling the same 5 lbs up and down for almost a year (more or less). I’ve recently removed all grains to see if I could jump start anything. Well, as it turns out, if you eat a couple hershey kisses a day, it doesn’t matter that you avoid rice and oats. HAHAHAHA
But seriously. I’m having trouble finding the motivation I once had. I don’t want to be that vain person and say I had a lot of motivation leading up to my wedding, but I sure can admit that I lost the umph after the big day. Yesterday was our 1 year anniversary and I realized that I’ve been at this 5 lb up and down plateau for a year!
It’s not that I have given up. Actually, I haven’t given up at all. I’ve been very lenient on myself as far as the 80/20 rule. I used to be more 90/10. Now my work schedule doesn’t allow for really any gym time. I’m working 50+ hours a week. I spend my weekends meal prepping, doing chores, and trying to keep my sanity. I go workout when I can. I walk several miles a day just to keep moving. I miss the gym. I miss endorphins. I miss feeling like I am getting stronger.
So what am I doing?!
I never want to feel deprived. I know this attempt at grain free isn’t forever. It’s not realistic. Let’s be real, I have been trying to do it for 2 weeks and have been successful maybe 5 of those days. If I can really commit to it and I see results, is it going to give me the loss I wanted or am I just going to gain it right back after I reintroduce rice again? I don’t ever want to be on a “diet.” I just want to find what works for me where I don’t feel hungry, I don’t feel like I’m missing out, and I don’t have low energy. Although I have been trying to be dairy free, I’ve been eating goat cheese. I’m basically addicted. DAMN YOU, COSTCO, FOR HAVING IT SO CHEAP. Otherwise, I’m still on track.
It’s basic science, right? calorie deficit is how you lose weight. In a Facebook group I’m in that is not weight related, someone asked what is a good way to lose weight. I obviously chimed in with my two cents. Someone responded that “it doesn’t matter what you eat as long as it’s blah blah blah less calories, check out the twinkie diet.” I was like “WTF? don’t ever tell someone to basically eat junk but not very much of it to lose weight!” Her retort was “it’s efficient and she asked how. I didn’t say it was healthy.” UGH. I really hope the girl that asked doesn’t take that advice. It saddened me. I guess my point is that I found some semblance of motivation through her question and that response that lit a fire under my ass. I remembered how I have so much more knowledge that a lot of people because of what I’ve accomplished. I HAVE the tools. I KNOW what needs to be done. I CAN DO THIS. I often forget that when I started I had no clue what I was doing just like that girl. (I swear I never thought eating only twinkies was a good idea though.) I have learned an immense amount of information over the years. I’m not done learning, but I have to utilize all the knowledge I have.
I want to help others. I want to shout it from the rooftops and tell people what worked for me. In all honesty, it might not work for you. That’s what weight loss and getting healthy is all about- finding what works for you. Yes, calories in…calories out… yada yada yada. But most importantly, being healthy is the goal! Food as fuel. Eat to live. You are what you eat. All those cliches. Getting started is the biggest step you can take. Finding it deep within yourself and saying “I deserve this. I want to live a long and happy life for myself, my family, my dreams.” If you want it badly enough, you will stop finding excuses. I’m not saying any of it is easy. My winning combination comes from meal prep, determination, consistency, and the feeling of buying new smaller clothes! Those things work for me.
As much as my crazy life has gotten in the way of me making any headway on my path to my goal, I’m still stumbling down the lane. Slowly but surely, I’m still here. I’m still sticking to my guns *just maybe only 75% of the time.* (AND THAT’S OK!)
Live your life. Enjoy celebrations. Eat cheese. Eat ice cream. Just remember that you can have those things, but you have to be realistic about your goals when you do. And for the love of all things holy, SAVOR THEM. Everyone will tell you about Moderation. “Eat peanut butter with Moderation.” WHO IS THIS MODERATION AND WHY DO I HAVE TO EAT WITH HER? It’s true though. I definitely have had my days lately where I give in to emotion. Eating is my drug of choice when I need to find comfort. I just handle it differently now. Instead of ice cream, I’ll eat dried fruit. It won’t happen overnight. You’ll find yourself questioning the very reason why you are even trying. and you’ll keep going. and that’s where you find success. Days turn into weeks. Weeks into months. Months into years. And then you’re there. Maybe it won’t even take you that long. Maybe you just want to eat better and don’t care about the scale. Find the motivation that brings you to your knees and begs you to make that change. Whether you want the energy to play with your kids or a long and happy marriage, you have to believe that you can do anything you want.
I believe in me. I believe that I can keep going despite the difficulties and craziness that is my life. I want to be someone’s motivation again. I want to feel like I’m helping not only myself, but others as well. I hope you will all join me in saying “I’m worth it!”