So about a year and a half ago I read a book called “What You Can When You Can” given to me by one of my best friends. It was a quick and easy read (I highly recommend it) and I totally understood the message. At the time I was fully immersed in a lifestyle of “DO ALL THE THINGS: Plan a wedding, work out 6 days a week, cook for every meal, go, go, go!” Maybe I didn’t fully grasp the concept of the title of the book. I sure as hell do now!
Soooo, you all know I’m moving from Louisiana to Oregon in less than a month. HOLY CRAP. I’ve spent the last 28 years in the same place with the same people and never being more than an hour away from my family. and now I’m moving 2500 miles away. WUT?
Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited! I’ve learned that without risk in life you might not ever reap the reward that comes with taking a leap. My mental health has been far from normal and far from optimal. Living without your husband for 5 months while living on the floor on a mattress with your shit (what’s left of it) literally scattered around your parents’ house is no fun. I’m making it work. I’m pushing through. I’ve put aside my emotions for the better part of half of a year and now it’s all coming to a head. THIS IS HAPPENING.
In the meantime, I’ve been working a lot and spending a lot of time and energy on things other than my physical health. I’ve gained and lost the same 10 lbs since June. I was ABOVE WEDDING WEIGHT for a few weeks. Most people dream of getting back to their wedding day size while I swore I would never go back. The holidays were a nightmare for so many reasons. I was missing my husband; However, I was still meal prepping. I was still going to the gym on the weekends and I was walking at least a mile or two every day.
What You Can When You Can. I think I’m starting to get it…
I went so far off the tracks since Thanksgiving I didn’t know where or how to get back on when the new year rolled around. I found some sort of stability in attempting to focus energy on getting my diet back in control the last month, but every emotion and all my anxiety has really come to the surface now that the move is upon us.
I’m not sleeping well (and if you know me, you know I LOVE to sleep and can for 10 hours with no issue), I’m not exercising but twice a week other than walking, but my eating has been under control this last week and I’m feeling a lot better. I’ve read so much about how diet affects mood and I’m here to tell you, that shit is true. I’m not following any “rules” this time around because I’ve learned to be gentle with myself and not set myself up for failure if I eat a freakin cracker or something. I’m listening to my body and eating when I’m hungry and fueling it properly (Imagine that?? It works.)
I went to secure my job and find a place to live last week and ate everything you could possibly imagine. I came home to my clothes not fitting, my anxiety higher, and was bloated beyond control. I got my head in the game the next morning and lost 6 lbs of bloat in a week. While I am still 8 lbs higher than my lowest weight last summer, I’m giving myself a freakin break.
This year has been a freakin crazy train! When I look back at the last 6 months, my whole world has been flipped upside down. Honestly, I’m just grateful. I’m blessed to have a roof over my head, a supporting family who has taken me in, a wonderful husband who has sacrificed so much and has been alone in Oregon working so we can afford this change, and I have some of the best friends in the entire world who have been there every time my crazy ass needs guidance, support, and love.
It’s not going to be easy to transition, but I have extremely high hopes. I’m more than cautiously optimistic. I actually expect to thrive. We are going to live on an acre and a half of land where I can finally attempt to turn my brown thumb green (I have my own orchard of apricot, cherry and apple trees-WOO!), and I’m going to be so close to so much outdoor beauty that will also include my love of hiking/biking and exploring. It is such a beautiful place and I’m beyond words when it comes to how happy I am that we are given such a wonderful opportunity.
When life stabilizes on the other side of this journey, I expect to have more time to devote to my fitness and I can’t wait to share the news with you as I travel these uncharted waters.
Until then, just do What You Can When You Can. I know that’s my plan!
Catch ya on the flip side!